Person in my bed, I am on the couch, don't wake my roomates. I think you are drunk. You took your pants off not me. And my name is not...

Person in my bed

Person in my bed,
I am on the couch, don't wake my roomates.
I think you are drunk.
You took your pants off not me. And my name is not Mike.
You did not know where you live. So when you do I will give you a ride home.